Yep, still fat. I was just checking. I keep taking pictures of myself to see if I can see the difference that 22 pounds makes. Nope, sure don’t. I’m still fat. There is a little difference though. I am a fat girl who is doing something about it. I have not had some scary moment at the doctor’s office where I was informed I must lose weight or else, and frankly I would like to keep it that way. When you grow up at a fat kid, having self-esteem is hard, even as adult. No, I’m not fishing for compliments or for everyone on facebook to tell me how beautiful I am inside and out. I am just working on me for once in my life. I am calling it project me. Catchy right?
What is involved in project me? Well, I am so glad you asked. This is about being self absorbed for just a bit. It is about believing I beautiful. It is about taking care of myself. Basically, continuing to do the things I have already been doing but with a positive attitude. Positive attitude, now that is difficult, but I am working on it. Day by day, moment by moment, trying to breathe. Trying to be stronger. Trying to have faith in myself.
I have been doing well with my eating. If I feel the need to binge or emotional eat, the frozen fruit is still doing it for me. My big splurge is my iced coffee and string cheese. Thought I met my match with the elliptical earlier this week, but I have it now! In all my years of gym going, it is the one thing I have avoided. Hopefully my weight loss continues to stay on track and I can see the difference, but as I mentioned before, once a fat girl, always a fat girl. We are our own worse enemies. A lot of this is a head game, and I have played it before. Only this time I win! I am determined to do so.
-22 and counting!