I will be the first to admit that I am a hot mess. That’s right, I said it. I am also a pretty lousy friend right now. As a matter of fact, I suck so much as a friend that I ran someone very important off. Really not cool to do that to people who are your friends, but I am the one who has to live with it. Maybe just maybe they will forgive me, and let me say I’m sorry, then it YOUR TURN TO TALK! Maybe in time, but I digress.
I so there is a whole lot going on in my life right now, and I have been a bit….emotional. Not a recommendation if you are a person trying to take care of yourself, exercise, eat right. I made it to the gym every day for the past 12 days, and decided to weigh myself daily and obsess over the number on the scale. Lesson 1: DON’T DO THAT! YOU ARE MORE THAN THE NUMBER ON THE SCALE!
I have had the Superman song running through my head for the last couple of days. You know the song, You can all sleep sound tonight, I’m not crazy..or anything…It’s not easy to be me. As a personal theme song, it sucks. I think I need something a bit more up beat!
We are still waiting for more test results for Jacob, and so I have been doing the emotional eating thing. I know, not good, not good. The only thing that probably prevented me from gaining all my weight back is my daily trip to the gym. (Okay, I didn’t eat that much, but I did eat a little out of the ice cream container, and had chili with crackers and cheese….comfort food). Lesson 2: DON’T DO THAT! THE NEXT DAY YOU WILL BE VERY ANGRY AT YOURSELF FOR EATING IN SUCH A MANNER!
I have made some decisions, put on my big girl panties (smaller ones) and I am moving forward. Chin up. I will keep my iced coffee at Starbucks, but I will not have a refill. I also ran for the first time in over a week today, and it hurt, but the good kind of pain. So here I am, the beautiful mess, broken. I will heal. It will get better. Tomorrow is another day.