Hitting the Wall

Published August 25, 2012 by meganbiddle

Most days I am asked how I manage to do all the things I do.  Usually my answer is something along the lines of, “It is what it is.”  You may quote me on that.  Everything that I have in life is mine to deal with, and there is fat lot I can do about it.  I can ignore it, but it isn’t going to go away.  So how do I deal with life as I know it?  One step at a time.  One moment at a time.  One breath at a time.  Some days, I roll over and put one foot on the floor at a time, and the only thing I can find to be thankful for, is another day vertical.  For me, that is enough.   It is okay.  I don’t want everyone to feel sorry for me.  I can do this.  I have been doing this for a long time now.  I like to stay busy, over-thinkers need to stay busy.  Otherwise, they end to find themselves thinking too much, which leads to trouble (not that I would know).

 The truth is that I go and go until I hit the wall, and then I stop. Then I rest, but that is because I am forced to do so. Sometimes friends invite me out to have fun, and when they do, I go.  I know it is good to have time away, so I do.  That is why I have been exercising so much in the last three months; it serves as a good stress reliever.  That, and I insist it is time to lose some weight for good (down 29 pounds).

Here is the thing.  I can be angry about things and situations when I need to be, because I know that with everything that happens, God is in control.  I can yell at God. God can take it; really big shoulders you know.  When things don’t make sense, it is really okay.  There isn’t anything I can do about it, except let it go.  Let God make sense out of the nonsense, and when I hit the wall, stop, pick myself up, and go again until the next time, knowing that there will always be another wall around somewhere.

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