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Confessions of a fat girl………….Numbers Game

Published July 11, 2015 by meganbiddle

I have been a fat girl all my life, except for those 15 minutes where I was overweight, but not morbidly obese. That was the result of an open gastric bypass, and I am just going to say that it is not the way to go. If it works long term for you, wonderful, but I am not one of those people. I am pretty sure that I was a size 12 for all of a day and a half.

As a reult of the gastric bypass, I am severely anemic. As a matter of fact, I had two iron infusions this winter. That was an experience I would really not like to repeat, but most likely will have to. I was in for my 6 month follow up with my pcp, and I said I was feeling a little tired. She decided that she would check my labs, that was simple enough. Two days later my son had his appointment, and I was informed that my labs were back. Oh. Okay. They are normal, except for the A1C. A1C was not on the lab order. Apparently my pcp had added it when my blood sugar was 139 at the time of the draw. I wasn’t really worried about 139, they weren’t fasting labs, and I had eaten on the way there.

My A1C (the lab that gives the doctor an average of what your blood sugar has been running over the last 3 months) was 6.3. Apparently 6.3 is not so great. It means pre-diabetes. At 6.5 one is considered diabetic and the doctor starts treating you with pills. When I was informed of this my response was, “No.” I shook my head for extra emphasis. My pcp looked at me, rather puzzled. I said, “No. I am not a diabetic. I am not becoming a diabetic. That is not an option.” Her solution for my last two appointments has been to make me an appointment with a bariatric surgeon for a surgical revision. Please tell me why that is a good idea? Why is our solution to everything surgery? It does not change the person you are. You still see yourself as fat when you look in the mirror. Chocolate is still wonderful. Wine is still fabulous. Pizza is still your favorite food.What it changes, is the size of clothing that you wear, at least temporarily, and it changes the way people look at you. It changes the way people treat you. So, if I lose weight again, people will see me as beautiful, because “you have such a pretty face.” If I lose weight I will need smaller clothing, again. If I lose weight, I may even get off some of the pills again. But under it all, I am still me. Even the greatest surgeon in the world cannot change that. I told my pcp I would think about it, knowing full well I have no intention of thinking about it. I don’t want the surgery again.

So here is where I am. I am back at the gym, making my butt sweat. I am trying to make better food choices and trying like made to get rid of the pop all together. Stay tuned. We will see how the numbers game goes, and who wins. I fully intend it to be me.

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