People Change

Published January 13, 2013 by meganbiddle

Sunrise At Galilee

People do change; not very frequently, but every now and again something so profound touches a person’s life that they can no longer remain who they were. I am one of those people. The person who I previously thought that I was, no longer applies. On December 28, 2012 she boarded a plane for Israel, and she allowed herself to be immersed in a country. She forgot to be afraid of everything, and so she hiked the Wadis and the Tels, swam in the Dead Sea, and went exploring in the torrential rain. She made new friends. She let someone in her life; when he asked her what was wrong and actually wanted an answer, she gave him one.

What comes next? I haven’t a clue. I keep moving forward, but I am forever unpacking my journey to the Land we call “Holy.”

Oh yes, I am selfish

Published November 17, 2012 by meganbiddle

I will admit that the crisis in Israel hurts my heart but for more than one reason.  Yes, for the selfish reason that 40 days from today I was supposed to board a plane for Jerusalem.  For once in my life, I was doing something for me; a 15 day tour of the Holy Land.  But as people continue to die what I want no longer seems to matter.  Gaza is launching rockets at Jerusalem and the government buildings are being bombed in Gaza; people a dying.  What are they dying for again?  Do they even remember anymore?  

Yesterday I was speaking to a professional woman who is from Egypt and she asked me if I had heard about the updates for the day, and I recounted what I knew.  I told her that another leader from Hamas had been assassinated.  She replied, “Thank God.”  As we stood talking, I wasn’t sure that I agreed.  Yes, this is horrible.  Dictators are horrible; but war.  Death of Innocent.  What about loving your enemies?  Remember that?  

Me and Mellencamp

Published November 3, 2012 by meganbiddle

Well I was born in a small town………not by choice
And I live in a small town……and I am ready to leave
Prob’ly die in a small town…..not if I can help it
Oh, those small – communities……are killing me!!!!

All my friends are so small town……no offense to you if you love living in small town USA
My parents live in a same small town……Rugby makes them happy, and that is fine, for them.
My job is so small town……well, it’s Indianapolis but you get the point!
Provides little opportunity, hey!……Mellencamp left and now he’s dating Meg Ryan! Can’t I go too?

Educated in a small town…..Thank you Hauser High School.
Taught to fear Jesus in a small town…..Not a bad thing at all!
Used to daydream in that small town….I used to dream about leaving!
Another born romantic that’s me…oh, aren’t we all?

This is where Johnny and I differ….
I know where I come from, and I love where I came from and the people that made me who I am today, but I never felt like I fit in when I was here. To be quite honest, I think that is my problem. I have been looking for a place all my life that felt like home, and for me, there isn’t one.

The thing is, I want something different for my kids. I want them to feel connected. I want to feel like they belong somewhere. So, I may just have to suck it up and live the small town, fish bowl life style for them.

Everyone has a story

Published October 4, 2012 by meganbiddle

I went to pay for my daughter’s violin today. No big deal, like every month, I walk in to see Mr. Pickett. He doesn’t call you if you are a few days late, because he is far too busy to do that. No, he counts on you to be a responsible person. I was the only one in the music store today, and he and I were chatting and he was telling me about a mission trip this man went on.

It seems he had met a gentleman who was going on a mission trip several years ago when he came into the store to buy a trumpet. The man knew nothing about trumpets. He didn’t play the trumpet, nor did he know anyone who did, but when he was packing for this mission trip he couldn’t shake the need to he had to purchase one. So he did. The man went off on his trip and went to several churches in South America taking the trumpet with him. No one in any of the churches had any need for a trumpet until the final church he visited on his final night there. After the service, the man noticed a boy speaking to one of the interpreters and the man walked over to the interpreter and asked him what he was saying. The interpreter told the man who the young boy seemed to think the man had something for him. The man walked back to where is guitar case was sitting and picked up the trumpet case sitting next to it. With tears streaming down his cheeks, he handed the trumpet to the boy who was also sobbing. He said through the interpreter, “I’ve been waiting. God told me you were coming.”

See, everyone has a story!

More than a handshake

Published September 23, 2012 by meganbiddle

A handshake may seem simple to you, but for a mom of a child with Autism it is huge. We were leaving church today, and I was in line to shake our pastor’s hand. Jacob doesn’t stand in line, because lines bother him. He always slides out the side door. Today, Pastor Dave called, “Hello, Jacob.” Jacob turned around and said, “Hi!” What he did next, nearly knocked me off my broken foot! Jacob walked over to Dave, and shook his hand.

I am sure there are people who are asking why it is such a big deal that my kid shook someone’s hand? The reason is, my son is Autistic. He doesn’t do things like that. I am a proud momma! I made sure I told him how proud I am of him too. I don’t take moments like that for granted. He is doing so well. We have found a church that loves him for who he is. For the first time in his life, he is participating in Sunday School and Youth Group. I am just so thankful.

We went to see an Endocrinologist this week about his pituitary issue. He has was is called Partial Sella Syndrome. We are waiting on lab results. What happened at the appointment was amazing. Dr. Sanchez looked at Jacob and told him that he could be anything he wanted to be. He could be a doctor or a scientist, and his Autism is not an excuse. He told him to help his mother and treat his sisters politely. In his old age he will need them. They will be the ones who always remember his birthday, and who are always there when he needs them. How I wish I could keep Dr. Sanchez forever!

Confessions of a Fat Girl…ENOUGH ALREADY!

Published September 4, 2012 by meganbiddle

THAT’S RIGHT, I AM TYPING IN SHOUTY CAPS!!! WHY? THANK YOU FOR ASKING. I AM TIRED OF PEOPLE BEING HURT OVER NUMBERS ON THE STUPID SCALE! WE ARE MORE THAN WHAT THOSE NUMBERS ON THE SCALE SAY! WHY IS WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE SO IMPORTANT? HAVEN’T WE BE TOLD ALL OF OUR LIVES IT IS WHAT’S ON THE INSIDE THAT COUNTS? REALLY? DO YOU MEAN THAT AT ALL? BECAUSE THAT MAY BE WHAT YOU SAY, BUT IT ISN’T WHAT YOU MEAN! LOOK AT THOSE GIRLS ON TELEVISION, WHEN IS THE LAST TIME THEY TOUCHED, ATE, OR SMELLED A CARBOHYDRATE? AND THEY ARE THE ONES WE TEACH OUR DAUGHTERS IT IS OKAY TO WANT TO LOOK LIKE, ACT LIKE, OR THINK LIKE, WHEN REALLY WE KNOW NOTHING ABOUT THEM. ALL WE KNOW IS THAT IF THEY DROP TEN POUNDS A MAGAZINE MAKES UP A MIRACLE DIET, AND SLAPS THEIR RETOUCHED PHOTO ON THE COVER FOR THE WORLD TO ENVY. DOES SHE EXERCISE CONSTANTLY? DOES SHE STARVE HERSELF? DOES SHE MAKE HERSELF VOMIT? DOES SHE RESTRICT HERSELF TO 1,000 CALORIES A DAY? LOOK AT THESE GIRLS! THEIR BOOBS AREN’T REAL, AND THEY NEED TO EAT A CHEESEBURGER! IS THAT WHAT WE WANT TO TEACH OUR CHILDREN? LET’S ALL BE FAKE?

Enough Already! I don’t care if you weigh 150 or 250, if you lose 20 pounds be proud of yourself! Tell the entire world so that they can be proud of you too! People, stop looking at those of us with extra weight that are trying hard to get it right so critically!! Surgery isn’t the answer for everyone, trust me I know. I am fairly certain that many of us “big girls” as some of you like to call us (don’t call me that, my name is Meg) have consumed far less calories than skinny girls today. We don’t sit around eating ice cream all day, nor do we only eat at buffets. I spent two hours in the gym today after going to class, and a funeral. What did you do except laugh at me?

I really hate it when people say, “You look like you have lost weight. How much have you lost? How much more do you have to go?” Can’t you just encourage me (and my friends too) and tell me I am doing a fantastic job. Please don’t be like some people and say, “I heard you lost weight, but I just don’t see it.” THAT IS NOT HELPFUL! I understand you can see the 20 pounds on the person that weighs 150 a whole lot easier than you can on the person that weighs 250, but remember, after that 20 is gone then they only weigh 230, and they have done something absolutely fantastic for themselves.

The bottom line is….IF YOU CAN’T SAY SOMETHING ENCOURAGING, AFFIRMING, AND HONEST (trust me I know if you lie) THEN DON’T OPEN YOUR MOUTH!

Confessions of a Fat Girl…Falling off the Wagon

Published September 3, 2012 by meganbiddle

Well, I knew it would happen sooner or later. I just hoped it would be later, like as in never. I sit here writing to you while eating Doritos and drinking a Cherry Coke. That’s right, emotional eating. Would you like to analyze it with me? Okay, here we go.

Yesterday, I had the opportunity to teach an adult Sunday School class for the first time in my life. It was pretty cool; I enjoyed it. I didn’t vomit or cry, and no one fell asleep. I think it went okay. We had our church picnic tonight, and because of the rain we had move it indoors. So there I am trying to wrangle my three kids alone, again. Aubrey was in potty training mode tonight, and I kept having to take her to the bathroom so she could try to go. Jacob and Jillian were fighting as usual, and managed to knock over their lemonade.

Are you asking about the whereabouts of my husband? Well, that would be the reason I am currently drowning my sorrows in carbs. I have been a married, single parent for quite some time now, and I am tired of it. It would appear that I am the only adult in this relationship, and I am really tired of holding up something that fell apart so long ago.

Today I went to the gym and I had gained a pound and a half! Seriously!? What is going on with you, Biddle? Get your head out of your ass and do what you need to do; run like the crazy woman you are! You know what you are doing here, so quit moping about and do it! Step away from the junk, because you know it just makes you feel like crap anyway, and do what you need to do. FOCUS! Concentrate on your last year of school, loving your kids with all you have, and being true to yourself. Chin up, you’ve got this! Things will get better!